The Ride

Just a swipe and you enter the train station via the turnstile. You always have those morning blues when you are heading to office but not in New York City. It is just the sheer vibrant atmosphere, the number of people around you that metamorphose your dull drab feeling into pulsating emotions. People here hurry to wait. You rush to catch a train and you may end-up waiting another couple of minutes for the next train. Just look around and you will find so many people, some enjoying music on their IPod, some reading a fascinating novel, some trying to solve Sudoku, some browsing through the headlines, some chit chatting with their colleagues, some lost in their own world and some like me just absorbing the milieu around them. And by the time you can soak the momentum of the rich events around you, you have reached your destination. Time just flies here and the train ride seems to be the shortest journey of your day. But surprisingly after an eventful day at work you experience the most divergent feelings in the same train-ride that takes you back home. The vibrancy now seems so dreary. You see people around you but somewhere the feeling sinks in that in spite of being in such a huge crowd there is not a single soul that you could converse with. Not a single person with whom you could share your happiness, not a soul that could read your eyes and comprehend the distressing emotions they veiled. The fact that you are so lonely in a crowd just elongates the duration of your journey. In a span of 12 hours the same 15 minute train ride is both the shortest and the longest journey of your day!!!

Seeing him in pain

I see a seedling tiny and stout
That burgeons to be exuberent and sound
It is bliss ,watching him grow
It is a joy, seeing him learn


But now he is so torn,so forlon
It hurts to see him in pain
I yearn to see the withered him bloom again


I still recollect his beautiful eyes
That looked at me with innocence and naive delight
I can't forget that glint in his eye
When he vexed me with his mischievous deeds


But now he is so torn,so forlon
It hurts to see him in pain
I yearn to see the withered him bloom again


I crave for those instances
When he annoyed me with his wonts
I wait for those moments
Where i could tell him he was so wrong


But now he is so torn, so forlorn
It hurts to see him in pain
I yearn to see the withered him bloom again


Today he makes my eyes moist
With a sole prayer to see him in joy
I wish he overcomes this phase of depression
And there prevails a feeling of exultation
Blessings for him persist in my every supplication


I know he is so torn,so forlorn
I beleive my prayers will make him sane
Someday I am sure to see the withered him bloom again

My first Case Competition

"All good things come in small packets"
The above saying seemed to be absolutely true with respect to my first case competition.I thought that all my team needed to do was comphrehend half a page,garner knowledge about the topic and then present it.But soon after, the realization dawned and i knew that this competition would be asking for much more commitment than I could ever expect.Commitment to analyze,commitment to work and most importantly commitment to maintain the decorum of a team.You gain so much of global exposure when you work with people from different cultures.It is absolute fun but it also teaches you so many lessons.I have learnt so much about team dynamics that probably 2 years at TCS did not teach me. Today, I learnt my first lesson that flexibility is the key to survive in a team. We toiled for quite some time and then made a presentation. Off late i have improved on my culinary skills and I categorize anything edible as food with right flavour or food with too much odour or food which is bland.And all i can say about our presentation was that it lacked flavour.Bland would sound too deprecatory. And it could not be relished even after adding the right amounts of salts and spices.The presentation was followed by the question answer round.The presentation seemed to be a cakewalk in comparison to the Q&A round.The answers required a clarity of concept and thorough undertsanding of the topic and even the smartest people would have a tough time answering them. I knew all the way I wasnt at my best. But then like always being your best is not quintessential.Learning is what I was here for. Learning is what I yearned for. May be people around me won it but I learned a lot from this experience.Learning that would help be a winner tommorrow.And like i said earlier "All good things come in small packets",let me keep this blog small as well.

My tryst with the corporate Industry

My tryst with the corporate industry began when I stepped into one of India’s topnotch IT firms. My happiness knew no bounds despite the fact that I was signing a bond to serve the company for a specific period of time. But within a month I realized what a grave mistake I had committed. A friend of mine once told me that” when you enter an IT firm you are like the horse that is eager to grasp and within a few months you get converted to a donkey. And then you are so comfortable being a donkey that you don’t want to be a horse again.” From that day I decided I would see to it that I am never transformed into a donkey. But I was pretty doubtful, whether I could be classified as a horse. Jokes apart, that sole aim kept me going and I did pretty well for myself. Certifications to taking trainings to becoming a module lead and then to finally becoming a project lead. But the way was not easy. In a company strewn with politics it gets tough to carve a niche for yourself. There are times when you think your effort is not recognized. Most people have a complain with appraisals and like most of them, so do I. But more than leniency bias or halo effect the most important thing that never gets mentioned in performance review training is that the manager often happens to look at the qualities which characterize him. If he some years before had been a technical guy who would die or may be kill for his project he would but of course rate a guy similar to him much higher. So your appraisals depend a lot on the similarities you share with your seniors. And in this process even the creditworthy people don’t get recognized and off course sycophancy, nepotism, favoritism do come into picture. But trust me these factors spur you to go ahead and plan your future and they are probably a blessing in disguise and a curse monetarily. And thankfully I faced the same issues and decided to do my masters. Today was my last day and I can rightfully say "I am free of bonded labor". Anyways I guess I like writing about the corporate world and keep pinging this blog for new updates..........

Distances

In this world which resembles a mirror maze
You unentangle me and set the fire in me ablaze

You delight me
You mesmerize me

With you next to me
Everything seems so right
Life seems so nice
The pretentious world seems idealistic
And even lust seems so sanctimonious

But times change
And we walk different lanes
I feel a chasm in me that no one can replace
But the feeling refuses to fade

Distances this time so far but yet so near.

It’s these distances that bind me to you
It’s these distances that don’t let me wander
It’s these distances that speak in silence
It’s these distance the bring us closer


My eyes hallucinate your presence
My arms yearn for that warmth
My hands crave to hold your hands

I see you after an eternity
Seems like a desire since ages, now comes true
I revel in furtive exultation

But my eyes can’t look straight into your eyes
My hands tremble when you hold them
Everything that once seemed so right
Now suddenly seems not all that right
My life seems covered with a cloud of uncertainty
And perhaps I don’t see signs of any rain of surety
Some things have changed
Probably we have changed

Distances this time so near but yet so far

I need you today

I need you today,
Tomorrow will be late,

When in this arduous journey,
My limbs are aching,
The desert wind is fierce,
And my eyes I cloudy.


Come now as an oasis or even as a mirage,
There are many at the ends of the rainbow,
But it is you who I want, should be there.

It is you, who holds without flowing,
It is you, who mesmerizes without alluring,
It is you, who hears without me speaking,
It is you, who ignites without touching,


If its really you,
I need you today.

Initial learning program(ILP) at TCS

MY EXPERIENCE WITH T63

My happiness knew no bounds when I got through TCS and Infosys. I had to make a tough choice. I opted for tcs, as there was a bleak opportunity of getting back to my hometown ‘mumbai’. I booked my tickets to Trivandrum for the fourth of September. The atmosphere at home on the third was serious. My family made it sound like I was going to fight a war on the Indian border. I never heard so many sermons even when I ventured into my teenage. Here I was all set to enter the big bad corporate world. Dad said, “Keep your eyes open and mouth shut. Think ten times before you speak”. And trust me it was one difficult task for someone as garrulous as me to actually keep my mouth shut. Sister said “ Don’t be manipulative but be smart enough so that others don’t manipulate you. BEWARE of sycophants.” With all the advices taken and with a bit of apprehension I embarked on my journey to the land of coconut trees (kerala). I wish the land was accompanied with a bit of culinary skills as well so that the food we ate could be a little delectable.

Here I was in Trivandrum with a bunch of equally apprehensive people eager to make their mark in the corporate world. Met people with a variety of skills. Some were technically savvy, some were smart, some had great command over language, some were genuinely naïve, some thought they were gods best gifts to humanity and to top it all there were some who would not stop asking foolish doubts. But trust me, they were the only redeeming feature in the boring technical lecture. They were someone whom anyone would love to imitate and the best sources of entertainment in the software engineering lecture. And here I introduce you to the word that every software engineer fears and that is ‘software engineering’. The lectures were slower than boring ekta kapoor soap and they seemed never ending like the eternal soap ‘saas bhi kabhi bahu thi’. And given a choice I would rather watch the boring ekta kapoor soap than listen to the lecture. Other lectures were sought of fun like istd, pge and sac. But what acted like the icing on the cake was foreign language. Everyone loved it except the few guys who took their own sweet time to pick up the foreign language. But hearing them speak was another great source of entertainment. And among the other things that provided entertainment was the scenic beauty of kerala. I never witnessed something so serene, so beautiful and so exotic. Generally trips tend to exhaust you but these trips rejuvenated us nonetheless. What actually exhausted us were the studies for the mid terms and the tests. After a beautiful trip to the beaches what awaited back at home was a bunch of print outs of the slides that were tough to comprehend without my notebook.

Days past by and so did the lectures and at the end of every lecture came the second most dreaded thing and this was the ‘feedback form’. Every engineer detested filling the form. Every one had blank faces and tried to grab snippets from the other and molded the sentence in their own sweet way and presented it. It was one tough job especially to remember how each faculty taught and what did it teach. It was simpler to remember salaam namaste’s imbecile story than remembering this crap.

Now life was getting hectic. We had to get up at six in the morning. All the girls were ready on time and this time it was the boys who took their own sweet time. And even after that, they did not manage to look one degree better. We spent the entire day at the office doing our project or attending boring lectures. I would go back to my hotel room and there I was throwing my clothes in the room and slipping into my night suit. This was one moment I really remembered mom. She always yelled at me when I threw clothes on the bed. And here I was with my roommate who gave me competition. If I threw four she would throw five. This was when I actually realized the importance of cleanliness. Now my drawer is absolutely clean with all clothes ironed and kept in place.

And finally the third most thing every engineer fears is the ‘MATC’. Everyone was keen on going back home and thankfully ‘MATC’ had been really kind with our batch. Almost everyone got his or her preferred location except a few. But one person that actually sent chills down our spine was ‘xxxx’. Everyone got so bored in her company. While having mundane conversation with her the facial expressions of most guys resembled as if they were suffering from constipation. The harder we tried to get rid of her, the more our efforts were in vain. Forget the guys even the girls who had considerable patience were now getting restless. Conversations with her were more boring and lengthy than a three-hour documentary film. We lost count of the boyfriends she had and we just prayed she never expatiated on her latest escapades. And here I felt like a true soldier fighting for the country as the moment the people who were getting bored with her got back to the hotel a warm welcome of flowers and paper balls awaited them.

Now came the time to depart. I thought I was entering a mean world but here I met the sweetest people of my life. Everyone was so much fun to be with. We developed a sort of harmony. We got accustomed to each other. Somewhere love blossomed and somewhere friendship .The bad corporate world seemed to be really sweet. Everyone was always ready to give a helping hand. If getting back home was something that made everyone happy losing on such wonderful friends made everyone sad. I wish this ilp lasted longer. This wonderful phase of my life is etched in my mind like one of the most beautiful memories. Thanks all of u, for this amazing memory.

Rang De Basanti

The battle between Bhagat Singh and Gandhiji’s tenets still continues. Ask anyone what gave India independence and the answer is definitely a culmination of both these approaches. Well, Rang De Basanti is more rebellious in its attitude and follows a more violent approach. Undoubtedly a well made movie with perfect music, excellent cinematography and outstanding acting. This movie is made to be a complete mass appeal.

Delving into the mindset of each of the characters you only realize that the director has a very condescending notion of today’s youth. On one hand there is Madhavan who is ready to sacrifice his life for the country while striking a contrast there is a bunch of five guys who want to live life like there is no tomorrow. The movie projects today’s youth to be impulsive, rebellious and hotheaded without an iota of patriotism. Patriotism is dormant in today’s youth and can be ignited only if the youth is asked to play patriotic characters in a movie. And nonetheless this feeling of patriotism is purely selfish in nature. The protagonists are ready to sacrifice their life because they can’t bear the loss of a dear one. Would they still sacrifice their life if they never knew the air force pilot who lost his life? The protagonists kill the defense minister and then regret it and to rectify this regret they go to the media. Bhagat Singh dropped a bomb in the high court with an intention of gaining the attention from people so as to arouse a feeling of patriotism and not because he intended to take someone’s life. Is today’s youth a slow learner? They follow the same process in a reverse way. First they commit a crime that stands out in sinister isolation and then try and seek media attention.

This movie leaves many mysteries entangled and many questions unanswered. It strikes the right chord that we need to fight injustice but unfortunately the procedure followed can never be justified. Watch this movie for a complete entertainment but if you are seeking a way to fight corruption, I guess you are asking for too much!!!!!!!!

Alchemist

What ‘s your elixir of life?
When you really want something to happen,
The whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true.


The above sentence that seems so apocryphal in today’s competitive age is the motif behind the book ‘The Alchemist’ written by ‘Paulo Coelho’. And when you read this book nothing seems truer than the fact that it is fate, which finally leads you to your destination. This novel skillfully amalgamates words of wisdom, philosophy, and simplicity of meaning and language, which makes it particularly readable.

The protagonist of the story is a Santiago, a simple boy who lives by traveling with his sheep. He is suddenly enchanted by a dream, he dreamt while resting under a tree, inside a ruined church in Spain. He dreamt that if he traveled to the pyramids, he would find his fortune. So he went on for an uncharted journey and along the way encountered magical phenomenon (meeting with the king and the alchemist). He also met the girl of his life, Fatima, on his way to Egypt. When he got to the pyramids, he met a desert soldier who told him that two years ago, he dreamt that in a tree that has grown inside the ruins of a church in Spain (the place from where Santiago embarked on his journey), he would find his treasure. In that instant, Santiago realized that what he's been looking for all these years is right where he left it. He found his treasure but realized that the actual treasure of his life was the journey itself. Along the journey, the protagonist stumbled upon many self-realizations and philosophies of life that would help him become the next Alchemist.

The book imparts various messages like ‘the means matter more than the end’,’ treasure lies where your heart belongs’,’simple things are the most valuable and only wise people appreciate them’ and ‘the only obstacle in life is the fear of failure’.The book illuminates on the power of dreams, destiny and most importantly optimism.

This book has transformed my pessimistic, materialistic and flamboyant attitude into an optimistic and idealistic one. The book taught me that the best way to overcome failure was its acceptance. It has taught me to overcome failures by facing them and not fearing them. It was then, that I realized that the biggest fear is fear of fear itself and the best gift is willpower. I believe life is a journey and the experience of life lies in the journey and not the destination. In a nutshell the book taught me to believe in myself and gave me my elixir of life. Read it to find out yours.

Difficulties

I wonder why life seems so tough,
Especially when there is a long way ahead to trudge.

So many expectations with each passing hour,
Doubt whether I will ever fulfill them with dignity and honour.

I look at others with an envious eye,
And then hate myself for comparing someone else with I.

Is it the case that life is greener on the other side,
Or the lady luck refuses to be by my side?

I imagine things the other way round,
And conjure up images of my life being so simple and sound.

I would then be so gullible, so naïve and weak,
Without modicum of courage to fight for myself and speak.

I thank god for giving me moments of depression and sadness,
Cause without them I would never understand the meaning of life and happiness.

We crib cause we consider difficulties as flaws that make life an imperfection,
But the fault lies in our perception,
Because in reality, difficulties make our life easier.